The Giant Panther

This is all I know about Pete Droge; a friend of mine, Stacy, who is also a masseuse, told me about this artist while I was on the table about 15 years ago. Stacy and I had worked together in a restaurant called TGI Fridays in the early 80's. She was a very cool, make things happen chick who took a shine to yours truly about 30 years ago. Sounds sad to say now, but back in the day it was practically all I had to go on. We ran in a circle of friends that, at such a tender age, lent itself to a bit of a mutual stat culture. I don't mean to say this in any kind of a negative way, but from time to time one or more of my buddies may well have had sex with the same woman. Most of the time I was on the outside looking in, but generally speaking eminent domain was a phallacy. My relationship, such as it was, with Stacy was not exclusive. That is not to say Stacy slept around, because she most certainly did not, but I might know two or three guys that enjoyed the same experience in a manner of speaking. Not that there's anything wrong with that mind you. She was a blast.

The only reason I even mention it is because Stacy had great taste in music. She turned me onto a couple of bands that I might not have ordinarily caught onto. For that I will always be Grateful, if not Dead. One night, exactly one year apart almost to the day, we were enjoying each other's company for a second time when my roommate, a temporary fix based on the departure of a long time friend, kicked down my bedroom door mid act thinking I was enjoying the company of his ex. Stacy and I enjoyed a good laugh about it, but it was always something we had in common even if our relationship was relatively temporary in its own right. I basically parted company with all parties involved on the spot, but that didn't stop me from hiring Stacy when I needed a massage. She was terrific even sans the happy endings. One night she laid the music of Pete Droge on me. Pete is an alternative folk singer-songwriter. I guess the song that I came to post today, "If You Don't Love Me (I'll Kill Myself)," appeared in the soundtrack to the slapstick comedy Dumb and Dumber later that year, but I had no idea. I just knew a friend of mine turned me onto a great song.

I'm a sucker for a simple guitar riff and a good melody. It's not that complicated. My friends laugh at me for saying I'd prefer a woman with similar taste in music, but it's so true. I have enough ammunition to not buy another record for my final thirty or forty years on the planet and it's completely portable. I can see myself as a Tiki Bar owner, hello John Hiatt, in my Golden Years (ooo wop wop wop...don't let them tell you your life's taking you nowhere...). If I had a woman half as curious and half as musically tolerant I'd have scored big time. I want to play Back in Black and Court and Spark back to back and have her adroitly adapt without batting an eye. Perhaps that's asking (A Touch) Too Much. I'm probably just waiting for that proverbial Car On A Hill, but it seems reasonable when you consider how many women I see at each and every show I attend. They seem to be having as much fun as I am. We just don't seem to know each other is all and it's a shame.

Anyway, "If You Don't Love Me (I'll Kill Myself)" is a great song. I haven't given the Final Solution much thought as it applies to women, but I get a kick out of this song's sentiment. Since I was crushed in the 80's, apparently never to recover, it feels like a bit of a theme song for me. Pete, of course, can just shove on to the next venue and put some salve on his wounds any time he feels like it, but I can't play a lick of guitar. That puts me at a distinct disadvantage. You'd think after 23 years I'd have moved on to the next disappointment, but the fact is I haven't. See what happens when you blog after midnight? It's like truth serum. And drunk dialing. Don't forget Sexting. Total heart on the sleeve crap. Stacy (they call me Stay-cee, they call me her) probably wishes I felt the same way about her, but I never did. Love Stinks for sure, but particularly when you are on the wrong end of the gun. Oh well. Here's a little Pete Droge for those of you who know what I'm talkin' about.

P.S. Congrats to The Giant Panther who recently got engaged to a great lady! Score!!!